I cannot forget
Antonio Bulog. Remember him? He ran for president against Erap and
broke election records - in my book on Philippine elections - when
he got a zero vote!
Bulog's campaign
issues dwelt on issues which he passionately, justifiable
or not, espoused. Some of his "bulogisms:"
a. The Philippine
economy is measured by the shrinking "pan de sal".
When the "pan de sal" grows bigger and gets hollow
inside, someone stole the flour.
b. Congress must pass a law outlawing Philippine typhoons. (He admits
this is not an original idea of his).
c. A mahogany tree or any tree should be planted in every Pinoy backyard
or frontyard.
d. The honesty in the cockpit should be immortalized as a Pinoy virtue.
The voters absolutely
thought Bulog was a "retard."
But why the zero vote? Bulog explained, unlike the other presidential
candidates, he did not vote for himself.
Last week, I heard
from Antonio - again! He ran for Barangay Captain! What else is new?
He lost!
He said that this
time he voted for himself. He even hired the daughter of
my Nanay Ines as his campaign manager in their barangay, named Eniwer.
Barangay Eniwer's
major problem was water. He proposed that in Barangay Eniwer, the
people should build depositories or filling stations for water - not
necessarily made of concrete - but with local materials, coco lumber,
bamboo and coconut palm for roof, etc. "Good for eco-tourism",
Bulog said.
Bulog also proposed
that three months before election, the tuba (coconut
sap) should not be drunk but saved in bottle containers the size of
a "San
Mig". The fermented spirit will then be peddled after the elections
as
Barangay Eniwer's finest brew in the islands.
Bulog also proposed
to stop the manufacture of carbon paper. I asked him, "What has
it go to do with Philippine elections?" Bulog said, "From
his experience during election day, some voters had a carbon paper
tucked in their pockets or blouses."
"What for?",
I asked again. "Kasi, Bulog patiently explained , "Para
mapatunayan sa kandidato nila na hindi "wasted" ang
natanggap nilang bigas, karne norte, miki o bihon."
Bulog confessed
despite his loss that he changed his campaign tactics. This time he
worked hard with his campaign manager on what he calls PMOGS. I don't
know how Bulog got that acronym but according to him, it means, philosophy,
mission, objective, goal and strategy.
The barangay people
started questioning if "pmogs" was a word used in their
language. But for some unexplained reasons some barangay folks started
using pmogs during barangay meetings especially when an issue like
prohibiting cows and pigs to roam anywhere in Barangay Eniwer.
After the elections,
Bulog thought that even after losing he would have had
two votes for him: his vote and that of his campaign manager. Ang
nangyari isang boto lang after the election canvass!
So he met with
his campaign manager and asked why. The campaign manager tossed a
crumpled carbon paper at his face and with bravado yelled: It's
the Aquino, you idiot!", as she flashed me the crisp 500 peso
bill his vote cost him so.
