I have been asked
countless times what i know about Romblon. And I replied: the heart
of the Philippine archipelago throbs in islands of marble, stone,
palm and grass. Here, in these islands roar the libido of the coral
reefs; where the songs of children friendly to the morning sun tickle
mild. Here, the bamboo dances and the wild dove coos - in still pristine
hills filled with laughter of the gods. Here, in these islands the
tribal virtue of sanrokan hangs on despite the challenges of a changing
world. In these islands the poor kneels in silence praying around
a table of god love seeking hope.
********
Martin de Goiti in 1570 wrote: "Among other islands passed was
that of Banton where lived certain Spaniards who had gone there in
vessels belonging to friendly Indians. The island of Banton is about
15 leagues from Cibuyan. It is a small circular island high and mountainous
and thickly populated. The natives raise a very large number of goats
which they sell to other places. They are handsome and paint themselves."
Goats. Handsome. Tattoo. Three great things about people in Romblon
more than four centuries ago!
********
Occurrences of rare (?) owls, strigidae otus mantanani are
known to have been sighted in Sibuyan, Banton, Dicanbalo and Linapacan
islands. Another owl, ryukus scops, ( otus elegans )
is found in Batanes, Babuyan, Sablang, Palawan, Romblon islands and
Calapan. Source: Philippine Bird Distribution
"Of all the queer birds, the owl is the queerest." A two
legged owl by the name of Antonio Bulog an unconventional, weird,
and eccentric politician from Barangay Eniwer has announced his candidacy
for President of the Philippines. Please read on.
-----------------------------
Mga kababayan/mga
kasimanwa/kahimanwa at mga tunay na lalaki/babae sa pinas:
After agonizing for several months, Antonio Bulog from Barangay Eniwer
has announced his candidacy for President of the Republic of the Philippines.
He has adopted as his presidential theme song, "Spageti"
because he feels the "Sex Bomb" girls truly express a down-to-earth
assessment of what bothers the Filipinos in their daily lives: "sumasakit
ang ulo ko; sumasakit ang dibdib ko; sumasakit ang baywang ko; sumasakit
and tuhod ko" so apir tayo: "spaghetting pababa,pababa ng
pababa;spaghetting pataas, pataas ng pataas; aw, makinig kayo!"
According to Bulog's campaign manager Arsenio Falihan, volunteers
who are willing to support his candidacy must be able to do the following:
has a working knowledge of climbing a tree; must be able to swim;
must plant a mahogany, pili or betel trees in their backyards/frontyards
and must be able to drink tuba or lambanog without getting funny.
Cash contributions are strictly prohibited. Your tree that you grow
is your expression of sincerity and love for Antonio Bulog.
Here are Bulog's political campaign agenda:
1. On foreign affairs, visiting dignitaries - that includes U.S. President
Bush - should climb a coconut tree to encourage them a better appreciation
of what to look for from above; when they "come down to earth"
they should join the barangay folks in a drinking spree with dried
octopus as "pulutan." Erap did it with his hands pero ang
nangyari, maraming siyang "astrononots" (gate crashers)
who partook the drinks and pocketed the octopus kaya tuloy maraming
nagalit.
2. On sports: Basketball should be phased out and replaced it with
cockfighting as the national pastime. Kasi daw doon nag-umpisa ang
"good manners and conduct." The "kristo" of the
cockpit should be nominated in the annual Magsaysay Award for community
development. "jueteng," "ending," "tong-its,"
"pusoy dos," should be legalized - dapat gayahin natin ang
"las vegas" or kano style katulad 'yon mga indian reservation
casinos.
3. Adopt the "bantoy" (scorpion fish) as the national fish.
The fish is known for its resiliency but soon to be extinct because
our coral reefs are being blasted with dynamite. A picture of this
fish should be framed beside the patron saint icon as a token reminder
of our love for the environment. The whales of Sorsogon, the monkey
eating eagle, the tamaraw should replace some of our national leaders
printed in the peso. Kasi daw "monkey eating eagle" for
example, "di mababaw ang lipad."
4. On science and technology, we should encourage a flying trycicle
to be fueled by chicken shit or fermented tuba or lambanog. This could
be a breakthrough for pinoy creativity. Kasi daw ang pinoy mahilig
sa lusot, at kung merong flying trycicle di na kailangan ang concrete
road. Baka libre sa pork barrel, di ba?
5. Provide a national budget for the development of the umbrella as
a viable CR equipment kasi daw para di discriminatory sa mga kababaihan
kung nagtratravel sila sa bus, jeepney, o flying trycicle sa bundok.
Buti pa ang mga lalaki kahit saan!
6. The Bulog agenda includes encouragement of street dancing during
town fiestas but should work hard to include men and women wearing
tattoos kasi daw before Dennnis Rodman (yung Chicago Bulls player
po) or the coming of the puti ang hilig na ng mga pinoy magtattoo.
Please note: the campaign think tank would not mind that the street
dancers dance to the tune of "spageti" pababa ng pababa'
kasi "tumataas din po sa awa ng Diyos ang pinoy economy - madalas
o paminsan minsan lang.
7. On fiscal responsibility every household should be encouraged to
use the bamboo piggy bank kasi daw para ma-remind sila na ang kawayan
ay pliant at di madalas matumba kahit gaano kalakas ng habagat o bagyo.
Ito lang po muna ang mga samples ng agenda ni Antonio Bulog. Btw,
Bulog ran against Erap during the last elections kaya lang camote
po ang boto. Zero. Even Bulog did not vote for himself. Sayaw tayo!
PS: abangan:
doc simp and arsenio falihan,
co-authors of an upcoming book,
"Bulogism" -: A Serious Study on Governance"
Doc Simp is also author of "How to Chew Betel/Buyo Quid Without
Really Trying (still unpublished). Kasi tatakbo si Bulog as presidente.
(Babala or warning: these Bulgosims may upset your stomach and/or
sasakit ang dibdib mo. Ang antidote: rub your tummy with betel/buyo
quid (mam-on) and/or tambal ng dahon ng buyo.
